we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize