Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
how drunk are you?
Several
How naked do you want me to be?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
