Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
