My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!