I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I think my moral compass just broke
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
