we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.