babies were throwing up all over the place
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
