Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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