Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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