My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
