I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The feeling are messing with the penis
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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