Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!