Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza