I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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