dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
