i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
