What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
