More tranny stories later!
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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