Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
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Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
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He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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