so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
