No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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