yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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