well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
