If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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