I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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