Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
