why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
