We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
