Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
