you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
home. puking in laundry basket.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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