went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize