Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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