Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again