On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize