After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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