ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
