I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
