Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
