I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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