I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
