So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
