Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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