Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize