Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
