my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
