Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
