do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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