i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
