is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
