Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
