i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize