so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
