ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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