If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize