Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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