she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
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