I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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