If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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