its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
