your parents love me but you hate me
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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